“Site not responding. Refresh?”
How many times have we seen these words on our computer screens? Just when we are at our busiest and need information from a site or need to perform a task quickly, the site freezes…is stuck. Pounding the keys rapidly and forcefully doesn’t work. Neither does smacking the side of the monitor or yelling at it. The only thing that works is to follow the advice: pause, refresh, and try again.
We do the same forceful thing with our bodies. When we don’t feel well, we try to “gut it out,” believing that sheer willpower (or ignoring symptoms) alone will force the body to comply. It might work for a brief period, only to have the body collapse a short time later.
We do it with our emotions, ignoring the obvious until we find we are stuck—in our anger, in our lack of forgiveness, in our guilt. Merely willing these emotions away doesn’t work. In the meantime, we aren’t our best selves, making it likely that we don’t do ourselves (and others) any favors.
We do it with our spiritual lives, as we find that our faith has become ho-hum, routine, even boring. Our relationship with God is tepid, as we are too busy to stop and notice God in others and in creation. Our relationship with others—who are God’s beloveds—seems superficial or rushed.
It’s as if we say: “Look, I’d like to take time off, but I don’t have the luxury to be sick.” “I want to feel better about myself and others, but I don’t have time to deal with pent-up emotions.” “I’d love to be closer to God, but I don’t have time to pray.”
Stuck. Frozen.
Mark 6:31 quotes Jesus saying, “Come away and rest awhile.” What?! Doesn’t God realize that we can’t rest because we’re busy for him? Doesn’t God realize that we don’t have time to pamper ourselves by staying home when ill, dealing with unwelcome inner issues, or praying more (even though we’d really love to do so)?
Pause; refresh; renew. It’s not optional; it’s mandatory if we want to be fully alive and not just survive. In the real world, what do these three movements look like?
Pause: We need to stop, to take short breaks from our daily routines each day; science tells us that this is good for our bodies and our minds. Every so often, we need to take longer breaks, a day off for example. Not to do work but to just be. A day-long retreat can be life-giving…as long as we’re not running the retreat.
Refresh: Once we pause, we benefit by reflecting on what we are doing—in a task, in our work, in life; why do we do what we do? Is it a calling or a job? Is it a necessary task we can learn to appreciate or is it one that we simply dread? When we are worn out, what rejuvenates us? How we need to learn what really refreshes us! Is it gazing at nature? Looking into the eyes of a loved one, especially a young child? Laughing with friends? Praying in a silent chapel or church? These moments—albeit brief—permit the body to secrete endorphins, neurochemicals that promote feelings of well-being; if we’re with others whom we like/love, we also can get a secretion of oxytocin that increases our sense of belonging. Longer times of refreshment (e.g., a day-long or weekend retreat) have even more enduring effects.
Renew: Although being refreshed can occur quickly, being renewed takes much longer. For example, on a hot summer day, we can pause and be refreshed by drinking a cold glass of water, but that will not renew our bodies, for such renewal requires time. We can renew our bodies—over time—with proper rest, diet, and exercise; true renewal of the mind and spirit may take even longer. It requires wanting to be renewed and doing everything in our power to make it happen.
In the 2nd century, Bishop Irenaeus said, “The glory of God is a person fully alive.” What promotes being so renewed that we feel “fully alive”? Here are several ways. We were created to love – and be loved; we were created to serve and be served. How can we promote more genuine love (especially the agapeic variety) in our lives? Where can we give more love (and service), even in mundane tasks? Where can we be more open to receiving love (and service) from others?
Although life is often not easy, it does contain joy if we are aware. Joy is far deeper than mere happiness. Where do we find joy in our everyday lives? How do we create joy-filled moments and share them? How often do we smile? How often do we laugh? How often do we permit God to infuse us with joy? When we receive a physical transfusion, we must lay still and permit the infusion to occur. If we want God to infuse us with joy, infuse us with the “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Phil 4: 7), we might need to lay still—to pause—and let God refresh us. Only then can we be renewed.Summer is a great time for pausing, refreshing, and renewing…but only if you want it. What are you willing to do to make that happen?
Dr. Pat Fosarelli is Adjunct Instructor of Pastoral Theology and Associate Dean at St. Mary’s Seminary and University in Baltimore, MD.